My soul feels so damn empty. ’Life is unusually beautiful, but sometimes I feel so unsuitable and it drowns out what’s musical.‘ I think it’s this weather. ’and you feel like you’re so sad you make it rain and then a song plays that says Wise Men say, “It looks like rain today” Crackled on the speakers trickle down the sleepy subway train‘ Well not really sad, just empty. Shiit.. I don’t need to fall back to where I was, that dreaded room were everything’s dark and cold. But nothing’s moving me right now. My voice and laughter feel so hollow. And wasn’t it only a few days ago that I was busy collecting good times, good memories for the written record? I feel like some druggie crashing down from a high. Dang… gotta get out of this ditch. I just feel so.. blank, no motivation. Especially to do all this school shit, we’re so close to the end and it sucks to be at my current stae. I know though, that I’ll fall deeper if I don’t get at least half this stuff done and I fear that so badly that I’ll fall. And so I guess thats the only thing that gets me to do this dam essay, or to keep me awake at the last minute to finish these assignments.
Agh I’ll probably be better tomorrow-going out with some people for Christian’s birthday, Cheesecake Factory. I should be enjoying that, and prom I should look forward to that too. Yeah I should.

And I thought dinner at Bennigan’s was more than enough. And I thought the chicken was enough. Thnx for all your time and effort. If being 16 is sweet, 17 is even sweeter.
Je t’aime.

Today, history was successfully rewritten by yours truly.