It was a hot summer’s night
and there we were
gathered in the water
the flood light faded
where it touched us
but bright when we gazed up
The moon was out
and our voices carried into
the otherwise quiet night.
There were shivers that
were lost in a whirlpool
or from the strike of a ball
that left no marks
like the words that held no bite.
It was like it always was
with laughter and people,
these people best of all
who always claimed to be
what they were not.
They were definitely not
surfers or seals.
There it goes again – opportunity dancing at my finger tips.
It’s disturbing the way I’ve always been conscious of it. It’s everywhere, in everything, in everyone… It’s always been there, it’s still there, with no promises of forever being there. There’s the disturbing part, that I’ve barely made a move, barley made a pass at opportunity.
I lack self-discipline, self-control. Maybe I’m waiting for a push. Or a downward pull.
Grr. Make decisions with your ____ but let your ____ guide you. I believe that. Honestly I do. I lack guidance. I’m not looking to other people either, I’m looking at myself.
Hmm. Idle minds tend to lose themselves.
Uhmmm… I may dream about summer and beaches and the sun and sand a lot, and complain about the cold often…. but truth is… I really like living in a place where I can go through, and enjoy to the fullest, each of the four seasons. Maybe that’s what makes summer so damn good. I’m looking forward to it, always looking forward to it
I’m sitting here, still as I can be. It doesn’t help much. This summer has gained weight, pressing at me from every direction. It’s almost hard to breathe. Sometimes the rain falls slightly, giving us a glimpse of what could be instead. But no, those threatiningly, dark clouds serve to tease us in this heat and I’d shake a fist at it if only I had more energy. Gods… what’s it waiting for? It’s so hot…
It’s a hot night. A lonely and quiet one at that.
The music never helps any, and the Aqua Teen in the background can only do so much to make me chuckle. It quickly fades into tired smiles anyway. This humor is lost on me, but it allows for memories to dwell on. When life be stressin me… my remedy be bringing back sweet memories…
…Laughter around a campfire(oh those stars), sparkling water(lake water? or clear, white sand beaches?), and rain… The rain is falling… those lazy, introspective moods; quiet conversations deep into the night. Even perhaps silent conversations and side-long glances.
Everyone’s getting away, going away, go away.
Pete, it’s a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart.
– Ulysses Everett McGill, O Brother, Where art Thou
It’s not fair, really. This whole emotion thing. There really is no logic whatsoever to it. And it’s so hard when someone asks you to justify your feelings. You simply can’t. Logic has nothing to do with it. You can love a person for the same exact reasons you hate someone else. You can easily forgive what one person does, and yet be so cold to another over the same matters. We can give reasons and try to flesh out the why’s of the heart, but when it comes down to it, it just is.
We can’t control what we feel, but we do have a hold over our actions. But sometimes, it’s just really hard, isn’t it? It can all be too overwhelming sometimes, you can’t help what you feel, you can’t help what you do.
We can’t justify our feelings, yet we can justify our actions by what we feel. It’s not fair, really.